Buttermilk Five Flames Moe's Tavern

Newton, MA-- The Buttermilk Five survived an early flurry of runs to explode for 21 of their own to take down, perennial rival, Moe's Tavern at Daly Field in Newton on Wednesday night.

Starting pitcher, John "P.E." Peyton struggled to find the plate early, but settled down after injecting himself with an undisclosed female fertility drug.

Jamie Lavin got the offense started with a laser into the gap for a triple and later scored the first of many Pancake Plates.  

The short-stacks kept the line moving all night thanks to solid hitting by all the Mian family members, Brent Knapp, Johnny Miller, Chris Hogan, Brian Farrell, Melissa Farrell and Peyton.

Skipper Chris Hogan said, "This was a good first outing.  I bet the over and won, so I can buy some new summer clothes".

Hogan has denied allegations of him betting on his own team.

The BM5 will attempt to stretch their winning streak to two next Thursday at 7:45pm at Casey Field in Watertown where they will host 21 Nickels.

First Games Posted

After much deliberation and consideration, the first three games of the 2009 Buttermilk Five campaign have been posted.  You can see for yourself on the flashy BWCS website.

The season opener will be next Wednesday at 6pm at Casey Field in Watertown against the B.I. Ballers (who are ranked 9 in the meaningless pre-season rankings).  The field is located on California Street, I think.  If you have questions about how to get there, please contact Brian Duncan.  Duncan didn't pay his cell phone bill last month so you can only reach him in person at work.  

The game will not be televised or broadcasted on the radio.  There won't be any fans.  There could be rain.  Please dress accordingly.  

BM5 to Embark on Another Championship-Type Season

It snowed yesterday.  It will be cold for another two months and Jesse Schreier hasn't been seen since his breast augmentation surgery.  However, the Boston West Coed Softball Hot Stove is warming up.  

The Buttermilk Five is looking to rebound from a 5-7 campaign, where they missed the playoffs by a game (or two or three).  Nonetheless, hope springs eternal.  

Player/Coach/Manager/Keeper of the bases, Chris Hogan says the team will be returning several players and also adding some key contributors, although he doesn't know who they are yet.

BM5'ers, Drew Morin and Jon Mian have been working out all winter in Arizona.  Morin has been taking 200 ground balls per day while Mian has found several all you can eat buffets that he has determined to be acceptable by his lofty standards.

Several changes have already been made to the roster.  Hogan states, "we have subtracted a Cory Schreier and brought her back as a Cory Mian.  This brings the total number of Mians to four.  They multiply like Gremlins.  Don't feed them after midnight"

John P.E. Peyton shaved his beard and then re-grew it for the new season.  Brian Duncan had offseason knee surgery.  Melissa Farrell has been assisting with Duncan's rehab by moving the TV's remote control just out of his reach at all times.  

Buttermilkers Jan Booy, Justin Adams, and Colin McCaullife are, or will be, proud papas by the time Opening Night rolls around.  Haydon, Oakley and the soon-to-be McCaullife offspring are the newest additions to the BM5 Booster club.

Brent Knapp has added 45 pounds of muscle to his already powerful frame thanks to a strict regimen of watching nascar on TV and eating Santarpios pizza. 

Details for the season opener are due out in a month or so.